What To Do Next?

Hey everyone! So, I realize it's been ages since I've posted on my beloved blog. Sometimes life takes you places you don't expect it to. Between the birth of my son, my wedding, and promotion at work, things have been so chaotic. I've really missed posting here, but as you guys can imagine, especially my fellow married bi guys out there, there has been very little action to report. On the other hand, there has been so much I have missed to report on! So many new shows and new seasons of old favorites, great music, hot movies, and some amazing hotties. Plus on my two trips to see the one and only Britney Spears, whom I was mere inches from.

I miss this so much and wish I could make it part of my daily life again for both myself and the loyal readers that still come to the site. I want to start this up again somehow and I'm trying to think of ways to make this work. If you guys have any ideas, it's much appreciated. I will try my best to make this happen once more, even if it's a couple times of week or once a week.

A New Hope

I didn't have much time for a full one but here are my thoughts.

I was scared going into this episode. I was hoping things would be better and you know what? Better. Much better. Heroes still isn't what it should be -- the last season and a half of mediocrity left NBC's super-power-hour at the bottom of a pretty big ditch -- but the "Fugitives" arc shows some promise.

Why?

1) A slower pace. For the first time in a long time, it didn't feel like Heroes was jumping around like the Bourne Ultimatum editor on a trampoline. We got to register everyone's desire for normalcy -- Mohinder back behind the wheel of a cab, Peter's new gig as a paramedic, Matt and Daphne's life as a proto-couple -- in a manner that didn't seem like a race.

2) A new threat. It's not the Company. Or Sylar. Or Sylar working for the Company. Or a new Company with Sylar picking up some extra hours. Goodbye Primatech and Pinehearst. Sure, the black-camo'd government spooks hunting heroes is right out of X-Men 2, but at least it's something different.

3) Hiro, minimized. It's kinda nice seeing the Once (but annoying) King of Heroes bucked down to a mixture between Alfred and Q. And it's refreshing to see Ando using "the Ando-Cycle" to pick up strippers. Some people are motivated by the need to Do the Right Thing. Others are motivated by their pants. To each his own.

Sure, the show still wears its influences very much on its sleeve -- right down to the very Lost-y tease for next episode ("The plane crash that will change their lives forever") -- and Claire wears too much lipstick, but I'm feeling excited over it all over again, which is how I felt about Season 1. With only a month and a half until the Bi Awards cutoff, Heroes better bring it.

Hot For Teacher

Can Dorota rake leaves in every episode? That image just made me smile. I also like envisioning her trying to pawn off Meez Blair's bulldog on a homeless man with ''kind eyes.'' Where was that scene?! Note to producers: There's no such thing as too much Dorota. Now, Vanessa on the other hand…but I'll get to Banana Pants in a little bit.

Gossip Girl has always been shocking and surprising (I can still watch the YouTube clip of Serena's ''I killed someone!'' revelation and get chills.). But never did I think I'd see the day when Constance Billard's texting teens would have to ditch their cell phones. The horror! How will they manipulate and sabotage their fellow students? (Or as Hazel put it, ''Is a scandal still a scandal if you can't text about it.'') The best result of the phone restrictions was that it brought out Espionage Dorota, which basically meant Dorota in designer shades. And moving cautiously, as if she was reenacting the Catherine Zeta-Jones laser scene in Entrapment. Pretty sure the Constance Billard ladies lavatory doesn't have that kind of security, D.

Still, the cell phone coat check (which in true ridiculous GG fashion meant each phone got its own little velvet pouch) managed to push Blair and her cronies to the breaking point and create a nice little rumor about a romance between Ms. Carr and Dan Humphrey. And yet, I sort of wished that Blair's revenge was a tad meaner. Is it possible I'm bitchier than Blair Waldorf? In a word: duh. Now, I'm not saying she should have gone all Tonya Harding on Ms. Carr, but something a little dastardlier would have been fun. One of my favorite moments was when Jenny came up to Dan in the courtyard to confront him and Dan made a comment about how he was thrilled Little J. no longer had raccoon eyes and looked like ''one of the Incredibles.'' That wasn't my original impression — I think I likened her more to a recovering meth addict and not a Disney character — but it works. Back to Rachel and Dan: The two do have undeniable chemistry, albeit sad, loser chemistry. Big surprise that Rachel often feels like an outsider. Here's a little suggestion: makeup. And no more crying in cafes. And while we're on the subject of cafes, what is this new joint that Dan and Ms. Carr keep visiting? It's like he's cheating on Vanessa's place.

While I merely didn't like Ms. Carr before, I now despise her. First of all, she totally turned into Professor McSluttyPants after she got fired and all but tackled Dan into bed. And my other reason is her apartment. How in God's name does a woman from Iowa on a teacher's salary have an New York apartment big enough for a dining room?! You do not move to New York and have that as your first apartment (unless you are yours truly). Although it's possible she's saved money over they years by not purchasing lipstick.

Ooh, I loved Serena's new coat that she wore in the first half of the episode. It was very Crucibleesque. Or maybe even an homage to the Revolutionary War. Very appropriate for this episode. But S. was kind of a drag last night. Lately it feels like every episode is just her getting annoyed with Dan. When they finally broke up for like the twelfth time at the end, I was relieved. Time to move on. Just please, Serena, no reconciliation with Aaron. You can't put us all through that again. Date a guy whose hair is shiny because it's healthy and not oozing petrol.

Somehow I doubt that no student has EVER complained about Gossip Girl to the headmistress at Constance Billard. Really? How wimpy is Nelly Yuki? The girl folds like a napkin. I can't believe she actually turned in Blair. Now, I sorta want The Nelly Yuki Project to be re-initiated.

Chuck's story line started out vaguely interesting in an Eyes Wide Shut-kind-of-way but then sort of became laughable. Does anyone actually have masquerade parties anymore with like ornate, feather-adorned masks? I think they only exist in Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals. Plus, I'm just not sure I buy this incredibly hot nanny, Elle, turning into a high-class escort and holding orgies in her employer's empty townhouse. Go somewhere a little more deserted and discrete, like a barn or a HoJo. Elle doesn't exactly seem like the cleverest lady (this impression may simply be because her name reminds of me of Legally Blonde). But having a clandestine meeting with Chuck and explaining that she meant to seduce his father and not him — totally unbelievable. Bart's funeral would have been all over the press and especially would have filtered through the rich society gossip grapevines. But I'm willing to be patient with this storyline. It has the potential to be juicy. But let's just not go too far into the sordid sex life of Bart Bass.

Oh dear colorblind Vanessa. I'm never gonna like you if you keep insisting on wearing clothing from the Crazytown Mall, like last night's yellow jeans. Also, I don't want to ever again think about your kinky sexcapades with Nate. That is vomit in the mouth material. I'm certain there was some sort of scenario involving coffee filters and Biscotti. Also, I may be alone here but I would not be turned on if my boyfriend FedExed me some lingerie. I don't want a delivery person handling my delicates.

Lily had some major action in the last episode but was totally sidelined this week. I did think it was ridiculous that she wouldn't take Rufus' side at the parents meeting. Dan's future could have been in jeopardy but she supported Blair? And Rufus was a big bore. Is anyone else noticing something happening with Rufus' hair? Maybe I was just hallucinating from staring at Vanessa's pants for too long.

Where in the world is Eleanor Waldorf? Are she and Cyrus on like a three-month honeymoon? Even Jenny has sorta been MIA in these last couple episodes and — this pains me a bit — I kinda miss the little whippersnapper.

A Hottie For You...

The lovely Ben Cohen:

Hey guys!

Pleeeeease bear with me! I've had a busy week with a sick child and piles of work crowding my desk. Luckily, the baby is fine and the work is starting to lessen. I plan on posting today my Heroes and Gossip Girl summaries and maybe a story. If not the story will come out tomorrow so please stay tuned!

Lost Returns!

I know you've been patient, Lost, fans. Not only have I not talked about Lost here since 05/24/2007, but the wait has been somewhat interminable between seasons as we've anxiously awaited brand-new episodes. Some of us spent the time making do as best we could. As both Daniel Faraday and Richard Alpert would tell us: time is relative. And while the traditional flashback/flash forward structure seems to be a thing of the past (relatively speaking, of course), what we're now seeing is something related yet even more insidious. To quote "Marvin Candle": time isn't merely OF the essence; it IS the essence.

To talk about what happened during this first two episodes in "chronological" order is almost pointless. Too many people are in too many time periods to try and reconstruct things in a linear fashion. That's what happens when everyone on the Island turns into a mixture of Desmond Hume and time-traveling bunnies, "dislodged" as Faraday puts it, ending up in various points along the string of time. There is however one constant: Sawyer's pecs. That'll stop anyone's nose from bleeding, except if you once were exposed to the Island's unique properties as a child.

That's right, I think we can now correctly assume Charlotte's a Dharma baby, born and raised back when such a thing was possible. She tells Daniel that she hadn't experienced a nose bleed since she was a child. Who else in this episode had a nose bleed? One of the original builders of the Orchid Station, once a massive edifice laid low by...well, a catastrophe of some sorts, once accurately predicted by "Marvin Candle," a man thanks to a video at Comic-Con really known as Pierre Chang. And leave it to Pierre to have a record player that skips through Willie Nelson's "Shotgun Willie" just like the Island is currently skipping through time.

So, why was Daniel Faraday one of those construction workers deep beneath the Orchid in its infancy? I think the clue lies in what was possibly the most mind-bendy of scenes all night: Richard Alpert's frantic instructions to a confused (and bleeding) John Locke aside the fallen Beechcraft. Alpert references an encounter between himself and Locke, one Richard remembers but Locke hasn't yet experienced. Methinks Daniel will eventually visit the Past Orchid in Faraday's Future, which is widely confusing and yet pretty sexy all at the same time. Kinda like Faraday himself. But I digress. And overshare.

Clearly, people shouldn't be passing through time in a non-linear way. There are consequences and risks associated with improper use of time manipulation. Thus, it's no accident that the two episodes tonight are bookended by people saying, "God help us all," in relation to the use and potential abuse of the endless energy stored in the Island. Chang uttered it the first time, and Ms. Hawking, who has a Ph.D. in Druid Mathematics, is the other. Or, should I say, she's the Other?

Some of Ben's off-Island activities, hinted at in the photograph presented by Miles Straume in Season 4's "Confirmed Dead," came to light in these two episodes. Looks like Ben has people all around the world sympathetic to his cause. It's unclear if the butcher was on the Island during the time of the Lostaways, but it's clear she wants to go back as badly as Ben. As for Ms. Hawking...well, looks like Ben's back to being middle management again. He's long hinted that he is not responsible for all of the Others' actions, and it looks like Ms. Hawking is his superior when it comes to the Others' hierarchy. Not THE superior, but superior to Ben all the same. On the level of Brother Campbell, for instance. Remember what Sayid told Elsa: "Everyone has a boss."

Naturally, this means we know all have to go back and rewatch Season 3's pivotal "Flashes Before Your Eyes," in which we met the enigmatic Ms. Hawking. Looks like she's manned what can only be described as an off-Island hatch, located underneath a church in Los Angeles. Emails sent out over the winter to those that participated in an ill-advised alternative-reality game learned of a new hatch (whose logo can be found here), but few could have imagined it would be off of the island. But I suppose it makes total sense: if you're building a series of hatches on an Island with the propensity to violate the space-time continuum, you'd want an off-Island station to find the darn thing if it takes your keys in the middle of the night and goes on a late-night Sonic run.

Using a very Dharma-esque computer and a version of Foucault's pendulum, she's determined an "event window" for the Oceanic 6+Ben+Locke+Butcher+Baker+(Marvin) Candlestick Maker to re-enter the Island. It's less important to question how she exploited the earth's rotation and the Island's electromagnetic properties and more important to question why she needs Ben and Company to head back to the Island. Is it because of a potential paradox, or simply due to some very bad people already there wreaking havoc? In either case, I'm thinking Ms. Hawking might have ordered the construction of that mysterious runway that dominated the early part of Season 3.

Speaking of very bad people: we learned that the Arrow Station isn't only good for storing edited film strips and glass eyes: it's also a military hatch, designed to develop offensive and defensive strategies against the Island's natives. Why use the moniker "Arrow"? Well, just ask Frogurt. That fiery display on the beach should answer your question nicely. Methinks the Island lets people die 1) when they've finished what work they need to do, or 2) when they are super naggy. As went Arzt, so went Frogurt. But while the Hostiles were acting...well, hostile, those military men weren't so chummy, either. And one man named "Jones" sure sounded a lot like a certain man currently looking for the Island.

That's right, a prediction both obvious yet eminently debunkable: Private Jones will turn out to be Charles Widmore. This is long before he had most of Oceanic Airlines in his back pocket: here's a young man with a fiery soul and a covetous heart. And that Island's already his preciouusssss. You can hear it in the way he loathes Sawyer and Juliet for being on "their" Island. And having Jones=Widmore makes the last scene in "The Shape of Things to Come" take on a whole new meaning.

In that scene, you'll remember Ben and Charles casually noting that neither can kill the other. Many of you might have simply chalked that up to Island will: after all, Jack and Michael have both had suicide attempts swatted down by the Island. But are we talking about Island will or the effects of major players in the Lost universe being unstuck in time? Remember what the increasingly important Daniel Faraday notes: the universe won't allow the creation of a new "string" of history. "If it didn't happen, it can't happen."

But there's an unspoken corollary to that: Everything that did happen, will ALWAYS happen. That's what course correction means. In short: Ben and Charles can't kill each other in London in 2005...because one or both die in the past. A past that hasn't exactly occurred yet, at least from the perspective of those two people at that particular moment. It's all relative. And it's all relatively awesome. And yet, completely and utterly baffling if you take it to its logical conclusion.

The one exception to the rule, and possibly the most important person in the Lost universe? Desmond, brutha! He's the exception to the rule, both in terms of changing the past AND the future. Course correction in fact does NOT apply to him, which means he wasn't fated to push the button despite Ms. Hawking's warning. He's the violation of the show's central rules and thus uniquely positioned to make the impossible possible. This is why he could visit Faraday in "The Constant," and why Faraday looked with such awe at his journal at the end of the episode: he's unique, outside of math, time, space, and rules. And that in and of itself rules.

When Desmond wakes up off the coast of Greece, he remembers his encounter with Faraday as a memory, not a vision. Which means, essentially, that that particular memory only entered his consciousness in that dream, AT THAT MOMENT. The past changed for him with Faraday's encounter, due to his being "miraculously" special. Faraday's orders? To find his mother. Let's see...a semi-elderly woman...Oxford-trained....brilliant in math...can we get a "Ms. Hawking" from the crowd? TESTIFY!

You've probably noticed I've spent little time on the Oceanic 6 in this recap. That's because, by and large, they didn't do a whole lot in these two episodes. Jack had the sweats, Sayid took a nap, Kate took off, and Aaron colored outside the lines. A lot. Only Hurley and Sun had moments of real interest in these first two hours. Hurley's heartbreaking confession to his mother, in which he purged the weight of three years of lying, was both hilarious in a "here's the plot of Lost in 34 seconds" kind of way, but by the end heartbreaking as he spoke of those left behind. And it's that pain that sold his story to his mother, who, in true mom fashion, replied, "I don't understand you, but I believe you." Sounds like my Mom when I try to tell her about the Dharma Initiative over Sunday dinner.

As for Sun...let's just say I never, ever want to visit a 31-st floor hotel room for a one-on-one with her. Am I alone in thinking she's currently the most terrifying person on the show? We saw her inner strength in Season 4's, finale, but what we saw tonight was nothing short of monstrous. What made it even scarier was the way she delivered each menacing line with either a smile or a gesture of comfort. Did any of you think Ms. Austen felt relieved when Sun told her she did not blame Kate for Jin's death? Sun is on a vendetta, plain and simple, and I'm not sure she's got anything on her mind except for revenge.

A few random thoughts:

Who do you think the "client" is that sent the lawyers after Kate? My early money was on Ben, but by ep's end, I started to think Sun did it. If she's not happy, then no one's happy. She's like a passive-aggressive Vidal Sasoon that way.

Loved the shot of the massively tall Orchid. Looked like a damn office building was being erected atop that site, and yet something blew the whole thing to smithereens. Since the Arrow and the Swan seem to dabble in similiar properties, perchance the Incident caused the Orchid to blow sky high at some point?

If Ms. Hawking is Ben's superior, did she have a hand in ordering the Purge?

Nice to see Ethan again, and even Ana Lucia. I think he says something about her character that her two most interesting appearances on the show happened after she died. And that something is, "No one liked her when alive."

Note the appearance of the compass? Look familiar? It should: it was one of the three items Locke apparently "already owned" when Richard visited him as a child. Look for a vial of granules to appear soon.

Speaking of that scene, I think these episodes confirm what I've thought for a while: if Richard doesn't know Locke during the Dharma era of the Island, as he hinted during his frantic instructions, then he only could have visited Locke throughout his life AFTER Locke arrived on the Island. So, Richard went back in time, behind Ben's back, to see if he'd made an error in choosing the Island Leader. And yet, since Locke's within the rules, he'll always and ever choose the knife when Richard confronts him. God, this show rules all.

If Widmore has Oceanic seemingly in his back pocket, does that mean he'd have an easier time than Ben staging the fake crash at the bottom of the Sunda Trench?
Just think: if Sayid hadn't been so busy watching out for Hurley, he probably would have done the dishes. And had he done so, Mr. Dart Man wouldn't have died such an awesome death. Sayid's ninja skillz are only matched by Hurley's Hot Pocket shot putting.

As for Hurley's incarceration: seems like a convenient plot point to add drama to the Oceanic 6 returning. After hearing Ana Lucia's message from Libby, Hurley should put aside his fear and loathing of Ben. C'mon, they were sharing Apollo Bars just a few years ago, people!

The appearance of the Beechcraft flying over Locke's head helps identify why the Black Rock is so far inland, I feel. If the Island suddenly appears in a certain time, then anything within its magical "radius" gets stuck in there, almost like a fly in an overturned glass. I'm guessing the Black Rock was literally in the wrong place at the wrong time: it's not so much that the ship landed on the Island, but rather the other way around.

I'm Still Here!

I'm back my loves! It's been a hectic week for your favorite bi guy. I'm up to my neck in work. But don't worry, I will continue posting today!

In the Zone: Sleepwear

So, generally I sleep in my underwear or completely nude because I find it most comfortable. I'm sure some of you though, do like actualy sleepwear so this is for you!

Abercrombie & Fitch Boulder Brook Lounge Pant

Look up cozy in the picture dictionary and you’d find a photo of these lounge pants from all-American label Abercrombie & Fitch. Made from super-soft brushed cotton, these relaxed-fit bottoms are so warm and comfortable, it might be difficult to get you out of them. Their retro, lumberjack-inspired plaid pattern evokes that toasty feeling of relaxing by the fireplace in a log cabin.

Get these great men's sleepwear pants for $60 at Abercrombie.com.


Hemptown Seymour Stitched Bamboo Tee

Pairing Abercrombie & Fitch’s plaid lounge pants with this long sleeve shirt from Hemptown will help keep the chill off on winter mornings. With black-and-white contrasting stitching on the neck, shoulders and armholes, this shirt will complement your plaid pants without being too matchy-matchy. Constructed primarily from bamboo, this shirt is touchable soft, almost like a finely knit cashmere sweater. Bamboo is machine washable as well as naturally antibacterial, so you could wear this shirt to the gym in addition to using it as loungewear. It makes a phenomenal layering piece too, as it will wick away sweat to keep you warm and dry, so try combining it with T-shirts, hoodies, sweaters, and cotton jackets.

Purchase this perfect men's sleepwear shirt for $37 at KenaiShoes.com.


Boss Hugo Boss Black Shawl Collar Robe

Feel like the top man of the Mad Men with Hugo Boss’ striped knee-length robe. A shawl collar makes this robe a must-have for winter and lends a posh edge to your men's sleepwear. Gray pinstripes on a black background add old-school gangster glamour to this piece, unexpectedly turning a simple robe into a seriously swanky style statement. Wear it over your sleepwear to keep in body heat or throw it on when you step out to pick up the paper. Soft terry cloth gives this luxurious robe a sensual feel that naked skin will love, making it ideal to slip into right after a hot shower. Refined, yet thoroughly masculine, this robe practically demands you put your feet up and smoke a cigar in its honor.

Snatch up this great men's sleepwear robe for approximately $195 at Asos.com.

Alfani Cotton Modal Boxed Pajamas

While matching pajama combos are usually the realm of the sandbox set, this cotton-modal pair from Alfani is decidedly for grown-ups. No matter what your body type, these pajamas will be flattering. A V-neck helps elongate the body, as does the monochromatic top and bottom. Dark, neutral colors like navy are visually slimming and the relaxed fit of this set makes any imperfections disappear. White piping adds a subtle but necessary touch to keep this sleepwear from being boring, and the addition of modal to the fabric provides ease of movement.

Pick up a pair of Alfani Cotton men's sleepwear for $39.99 at Macys.com.

Ted Baker Alfred Leather Slipper

Finally, a pair of slippers you wouldn’t be embarrassed to run to the corner store in. These slim, leather slip-on shoes from Ted Baker are like your favorite sleek loafers, but you can wear them in your house, and rather than appearing absurd with your loungewear, they’ll add a sophisticated flair to your morning ensemble. Luxe extras that help make these the ultimate slippers include buttery soft leather throughout the shoes and a fun, printed interior.

Get a pair of Ted Baker Alfred slippers for approximately $38 at Asos.com.

Favorite YouTube Videos

This video is like a year or two old but I just discovered it from a friend of mine. Comedian Liam Kyle Sullivan plays Kelly, a shoe enthusiast. This is her music video for "Shoes." Enjoy!

Mommy Dearest

After a little checking, I realized that this is my first summary of this show since 5/21/2007, when I summarized the 3rd season finale.

Now this is my Grey's.

Eric Stoltz Serial Killer and Kid Who Needs Organs playing off each other — and more importantly, playing the doctors off each other — perfectly. Ponytail humor. Interesting secondary medical cases that also illuminate the human condition. Tyne Daly guest starring as Derek's mom.

Yes.

Okay, so it wasn't perfect. So Denny was still lingering, and the annoying blond pediatric doctor was still annoying, and Lexie and Mark were still hooking up. But if you ignore those little lingering problems, things went great. So that's what we're going to do. We're going to ignore those things today and focus on the good stuff, because the good was so good, and my complaints about the aforementioned have been aforementioned to death.

So onto the greatness. Bailey's prized kid patient, Jackson, needed a liver and intestines so badly that she was obsessing about it in the middle of the night, even paging the Blond Doctor Who Shall Not Be Named to chat about it. Eric Stoltz was pondering the fact that his execution would be in five days, and he'd rather die in the hospital. We could see where this was going.

Everyone else, however, was quite focused on the impending arrival of Derek's mom. So was I, honestly — I've been convinced since last week's teaser scenes that Tyne Daly would fix everything. And I was correct. If I were acknowledging Lexie and Sloan's right to exist, I'd mention that even they were talking about her coming visit as they also discussed Lexie's insanely young age of 24 in a post-coital chat. And if I were recognizing Denny, I'd say that he was right there with Izzie when she told Meredith she shouldn't wear her hair all down and regular and Meredith-y if she wanted to impress Derek's mom. Cut to Meredith with a teenybopper hairdo, complete with pink awful-scrunchie-thing. And Derek walking in to say, ''You're wearing an alarmingly high ponytail.'' And me, celebrating the return of Grey's.

Of course with the fun comes the drama — and the gore. As in, dude who went to Hong Kong to get his legs surgically lengthened came in with some seriously mashed up calves. ''They said it'd give me a whole 2 inches,'' he explained. (He even made me really, really feel for guys for a moment. Sure, they look ridiculously sexy with gray hair, wrinkles suit them just fine — see Dr. Hunt here for prime example — and they rarely have to wax or tweeze a thing. But I felt it.) Bailey, meanwhile, was gamely setting up the impending departure of Melissa George's Sadie, reading her the riot act for being a teeny bit encouraging to Jackson's mother about his chances of getting a transplant. Bailey even went so far as to call her ''squirrelly.'' Seriously. A little much.

Eric Stoltz continued to be riveting as the serial killer whom we can never really get a read on. Is he repentant? Did he really do what he says he did? What does he want, anyway? He told Meredith a story that may or may not have been true about being beaten as a kid and learning to read on the detergent bottles while he hid under the sink. Right about then his gurney crossed paths with Jackson's, amping up the tension even more. Would he tell the kid about his heinous crimes when the kid asked? No. Would he say something else horrible? No. But when Jackson said he needed organs, he did say, ''Want mine?''

Then we were back to the lighter side as we ignored Denny saying that not having to meet the family was one of the perks of dating a dead guy, and as we cheered when Hunt awkwardly asked Cristina out in the middle of the work day, then scampered off. ''I think you and the pig murderer make a really good couple,'' Izzie gushed to Cristina at lunch afterwards. And then I officially decided to break my earlier rule and full-out acknowledge Lexie and Mark's coupling. Because I must admit, it got pretty good in the cafeteria. She laid down the law, telling him, ''You sleep with me, you lunch with me.'' Which caused all the other interns to enthusiastically join them, thrilled that he was letting his underlings join him for a meal, and squealing things like, ''They have tater tots!'' He freaked so much that he not only fled the scene, he immediately went and confessed his affair to Tyne Daly. ''Which one is she?'' Mama Shepherd asked. ''The one with the juice box,'' he answered. She then tracked Lexie down later in the hallway for a mom-tacular confrontation in which she asked her if she was ''a good girl.'' ''How many sexual partners have you had?'' (The answer: ''Six. Seven. Kinda six. Kinda seven.'' BTW, I was once informed by several guy friends that seven is the perfect number, if you're ever going to tell a guy a number. Just a tip.) ''Criminal record?'' (Answer: Speeding ticket, ''12 miles over.'' As Tyne said, ''That's fast.'') And just like that, I joined team Mark-and-Lexie. For now, anyway.

As for our other couples, Cristina and Owen (we're going to try his first name now that there's real live dating going on, because I don't like calling the girls by first names and guys by last names — gender parity, y'all) plunged into further awkwardness when she tried out one of Izzie's dating tips on him. All wrong, of course: ''I finished your post-ops,'' she told him. Then stared at him in silence. Then added, ''So, what was your best surgery ever?'' Then he didn't answer. Back in the serial killer room, Eric Stoltz was unconscious and Meredith was refusing to sign the consent form — the one that needs two doctors' signatures to operate when the patient is out — for Derek, which could not bode well. Cristina stepped in and signed, and thus got to scrub in on his surgery instead. Just before the surgery, Cristina and Meredith ran into each other and seemed to strike the closest they could get to a truce. ''That ponytail looks ridiculous,'' Cristina told Meredith, and Meredith took her hair down. This, friends, is why we love Grey's.

We also love it for the following reasons: Mrs. Shepherd gave Mark a good talking to and making, I'll once again admit, a good case for him trying things with Lexie. Short Guy's brother laid into him for using his shortness as an excuse for everything: ''No one knows how short you are except for you, dude.'' Mrs. Shepherd gave Major Hunt unsolicited advice about taking Valerian Root to sleep. Basically, a lot of Mrs. Shepherd.

Oh, and I just realized Patrick Dempsey is finally getting to act! (That is, act something other than sappy and sorry for Meredith.) That's why he suddenly got a sad backstory about his dad being shot by robbers! So he could get material worthy of an Emmy reel! ''There's no way in hell I'm gonna let you die in this hospital,'' he growled to Eric Stoltz, setting up the conflict sure to ensue next week since we learned Jackson's first set of donated organs wasn't working. Thanks to the prisoner, Meredith also got to confess her emo tendencies to Mama Shepherd. ''I'm dark and cloudy,'' she told her, ''because I'm the type of person who feels bad for serial killers.'' Mom seemed to walk off in a snit of disappointment, but — ah, there it was — she told Derek later that she knew Meredith was the one for him. Awww. Of course, Meredith also hinted strongly to Eric Stoltz that if he bumped his head post-surgery it'd probably kill him, and then we had to actually see him repeatedly bang his bandaged head against the back of his bed, but, well, that's a mess to be sorted out next week, too.

The better news: Izzie broke up with the person we're no longer acknowledging! Because he's dead! And Alex wanted Izzie to meet his mom! And PLEASE TELL ME DENNY IS NOT THERE WHY DO I STILL SEE DENNY IF ALEX STARTS TALKING TO HIM NOW I AM DONE. Okay, Alex didn't talk to him. But really. Let's wrap it up now.

And best yet: Owen showed up to Cristina's for their date hours late and drunk. Okay, that's not really the good part. The good part starts with the fact that he brought her flowers and wore a suit. The good part continued with Cristina telling him he needed a shower. So, of course, he headed right for hers, fully clothed. And he stood there, under the water stream, and he told her about his best surgery, something about a guy he saved who then later killed himself. It sounds sort of ridiculous, but in the hands of these two, it was masterful, riveting. And it's worth noting that Hunt is also a wonderfully nuanced depiction of a veteran. No annoying flag-waving and histrionic heroics, just a guy who somehow survived an unbelievable job, and was destroyed by it in some ways, but is still muddling through back in real life now, and still needs love. Anyway, then she stepped into the shower with him, also fully clothed.

And, wow, that was good.

EW!

Bush is talking. No Ugly Betty. So over him. Bring on President Obama!

Sorry!

Work intervened once again guys. I'll be back in full force tomorrow!

Look for random updates throughout the night.

No Worries!

I have not disappeared again! I'm just running very behind schedule today. Due to inclement weather, I arrived very late at my office and have been behind on some work. I have my thoughts on American Idol and a new story for you that I will be posting soon so stay tuned!

Gym Time

Ahhhhhh how much I enjoy the locker room at the gym. So much hotness everywhere! Oh how this reminds me of the old days.

In the Zone: Winter Fashion Faux Pas

The problem with winter clothing is that most men go for the utilitarian garment and don’t bother with creating a fashionable and functional winter wardrobe. It is, of course, easy to fall into this winter fashion faux pas. First, it’s cold and you want to be warm. Second, you get tired of the cold quickly and want to go on vacation more than you ever want to go to work, and by wearing the ski jacket or funky hat you bought on vacation you psychologically feel you’re having more fun. Then, of course, some men just don’t know any better.

So, get rid of your winter fashion faux pas (your retro puffer coats and lumberjack hats), update your winter look and find a pair of boots that you can actually wear to work or dinner. Here, then, is your guide to rejuvenating your cold weather clothing and ditching your winter fashion faux pas.

Wearing utilitarian gloves

OK, we get that it’s cold, but the ski gloves are best left for actually skiing and the same goes for those insulated work gloves you just had to buy to feel manly. These items have their time and place and neither translate well to everyday fashion and work. To avoid this winter fashion faux pas of mixing purposes, you’ll need to keep a pair of actual leather gloves in your coat pockets, like these black deer skin gloves from All Gloves. While you’re at it, put the ski gloves in storage with your ski jacket and pants.

Wearing hats with logos, patterns or pom-poms

One of the easiest winter fashion faux pas to remedy is to ditch the winter hat with a logo that you bought for tailgating parties. You just can’t walk into work wearing that. Walking around with a hat emblazoned with team names or resort names is simply childish. By opting for a solid-colored hat like this one from Kashmere, you actually enhance your wardrobe while staying warm. And we don’t even need to discuss the silly pom-pom hats, do we? Good.

Wearing a scarf that is too short

Wearing a scarf that is too short does one very bad thing for your personal style -- you won’t be able to tie it properly or in different ways. Choosing a longer scarf with a simple motif allows to not only tie it in a variety of ways to match your mood and style, but it also gives you plenty of material to double over and wrap it higher and thicker on colder days.

Wearing a puffy coat over a suit

A few years ago, wearing puffy ski jackets over suits became the new trend. Some rejoiced because they felt rebellious. Others sighed in agony as their fellow man began showing up for work or dinner in rumpled suits. If you want to shorten the life of your suits faster than stock market investments can tumble, then go ahead and wear that puffy winter coat over your tailored clothing. Now that you’ve got that little moment out of your system, get a real overcoat for your suits. Getting an overcoat that is tailored and shaped to preserve your suit jacket while keeping you warm and stylish is the best way to go. A single-breasted number with an elegant drape from Hugo Boss will do nicely.

Not wearing boots

Men like to believe that they don’t need to wear a boot in the winter unless they are working outside. Even then they often wear sneakers for a walk in the deep snow on the weekends or they go to work in dress shoes without a second thought as to what all that moisture is doing to the Italian leather strapped to their feet. You certainly don’t need steel-toed badass boots to get to that holiday party after work, but you do need a pair of well-made winter boots deigned for comfort, fashion and cold weather. If extreme cold wet weather is a concern, then go with the Beacon Boot. Now find a briefcase or work bag large enough to stash your dress shoes and change into them once you get to work.

The Return

Surprise! As you may have already guessed, I'm officially back! I'm so happy to be blogging again as I have missed this so much. I return to you all as a father and soon-to-be husband. We did kind of go out of order on that, but hey, so what.

Being a father isn't as scary as I thought it would be. It is a lot of responsibility as I now have this little life to watch over but Lisa and I are making it work and we are doing a pretty decent job I think. Stewie is already such a smart little guy. According to my parents, he is very much like me, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing or bad thing, given my, uhhhhh, history. Anyway, things are great and I'm finding fatherhood to be a fulfilling experience.

Now don't worry this won't be an all about baby blog now. Things will, more or less, be the same as before I left. The one main difference is that Hotties of the Day is completely cancelled. I may post some pictures of hotties here and there but it won't be daily. I'm also thinking about what I will be doing with the confessions as I don't have much to confess. My stories may just be solely fantasy, rather than truth, from now on. We'll see how that goes. Here is my daily schedule:

Monday:

TV Summaries: Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters, Amazing Race
Bi Chart: TV

Tuesday:

TV Summaries: Gossip Girl, Dancing With the Stars, Heroes
Bi Chart: Music

Wednesday:

TV Summaries: American Idol, Dancing With the Stars
In The Zone

Thursday:

TV Summaries: American Idol, Lost
Fantasy/Confessions

Friday:

TV Summaries: Ugly Betty, Grey's Anatomy
In the Zone


Other posts that are daily or every other day:

What To Watch
What to Hear
Favorite YouTube Videos

I also while be doing shorter updates at night and throughout the weekend so look out for those as well. The schedule above can change as I think of new things to do.

New Kelly Clarkson!

Kelly's new single "My Life Would Suck Without You" is finally out! The song is the lead single from her new album All I Ever Wanted, due this March. I love it! If it were a movie, it would have been called "Since You Been Gone 2: I Want You Back". Give it a chance, you'll love it.

Idol Returns (And So Do I)

I love Kara Dioguardi! She has injected much needed life into the show's stale 3-judge formula. Here is what I thought about last night's 8th (!) season premiere:

1. Simon was in truly hilarious form — without ever reverting to a soul-crushing ''Bush Baby'' moment. Yes, not only did the cranky Brit avoid falling back on his overused ''cruise ship''/''cabaret'' critiques, but he pounded his punch lines harder and faster and more frequently than winners off Roger Federer's forehand side at Wimbledon. Simon's zestiest zinger came as he listened to Paula advise misguided rocker Randy Madden that he needed to experience the camaraderie of a band to improve his musical artistry. ''How do you think 'Straight Up' was written?'' deadpanned Simon. And then, of course, there was 16-year-old Arianna Afsar explaining how she and her pals work to cheer up lonely nursing-home residents through her ''Adopt a Grandfriend'' foundation. ''So if Paula came to Arizona on her own,'' interjected Simon, ''you would help her out?'' Honestly, you cannot script stuff that good. (I actually enjoyed Arianna loose, playful performance; I just wish she'd waited three or four years to iron out some of the robotic ''I'm a precocious teen star!'' traits that eventually made me turn against Lisa Tucker, Paris Bennett, and Diana DeGarmo, to name a few past contestants.)

2. Kara DioGuardi brought some much-needed snap to the stale dynamic of the judges' panel. I can't help but wonder if Simon stepped up his verbal game because there's finally someone else behind the table who's consistently paying attention and who has a repertoire of more than three adjectives at her disposal. Kara undoubtedly offered some of the night's best and most interesting critiques and settled into her new position with the ease of someone who's been doing it since the days of Ryan Starr and Justin Guarini. I'm sure her confrontation with Bikini Girl — hey, if she can't be bothered to get dressed, I can't be bothered to write down her name — will be dismissed by some as a case of ''older hot chick feeling threatened by younger hot chick,'' but I think that misses the point.

Kara was right: Bikini Girl's version of ''Vision of Love'' had no swing whatsoever — except for the tacked-on vocal run she coughed up in a last-ditch effort to out-sing the show's newest judge. That little bit of caterwauling swung all right — swung like a terrified cat being bandied about the room by its tail! I want to hate Simon for stamping Bikini Girl's ticket (no double-entendre intended there), but deep down, I choose to believe he just thinks she'll make good cannon-fodder when Hollywood week arrives. Still, instead of seeing this bimbo get booted for, say, forgetting the lyrics during a group rendition of ''Ain't Too Proud to Beg,'' wouldn't it be better if she didn't get a second of screen time during Hollywood week whatsoever?

3. The producers used background music, editing, and sound effects far more creatively than they have for several seasons. Case in point: After Bikini Girl made good on her promise to smooch Ryan if she scored a golden ticket, the producers queued up none other than Katy Perry's ubiquitous ''I Kissed a Girl.'' Now, I've never been a fan of the infantile ''gay or metrosexual?'' game the show so enjoys playing with Ryan, but I'd be lying if I said this particular instance wasn't successful in its aims. In other words, I laughed. I laughed hard. And I'm only mildly embarrassed that I did.

I also got a kick out of the low-budget effect where the producers tinted each of the judges a horrific shade of green, and played the shark-attack theme from Jaws to indicate contestant Michael Gurr's fear of appearing before the panel. (Side note: When the borderline unintelligible teen announced he'd be singing ''Starts With Goodbye'' by Carrie Underwood, I was convinced he'd said the song was by Karen DeWitt, who happens to be a news correspondent for New York City's public radio station. Talk about confusion at Casa Slezak!) Oh, and speaking of confusion...

4. I was emotionally manipulated to get a slight lump in my throat during the first 10 minutes of the show. I didn't actually cry, but, well, you know how it is. They show you all those great moments of Kelly and Fantasia and Crying Girl (still makes me howl), and then they slip in a shot of Elliott Yamin's late mom, and then follow it up with a montage of season 8 wannabes shouting ''I'm going to Hollywood!'' and, well, I AM NOT MADE OF STONE, PEOPLE.

5. And the final reason I loved tonight's 120-minute singing extravaganza is that I'm already totally sold on Deanna Brown. You don't have to tell me that I set myself up for major disappointment every year when I get unnaturally attached to the quirky woman who seems oddly un-Idol-esque and never even cracks the semifinals. (I own a Tami Gosnell CD, and if Porcelana Patino had one, I'd buy hers too!) But Deanna, with her dazzling ice-blue eyes, and her aggressively healthy blond locks, and that absolutely winning smile, I think she might be the real deal. I mean, it's not often that I curse Simon or Paula for cutting off an audition because I'm left desperately wanting more. But Deanna's ''(Sittin' on) The Dock of the Bay,'' equal parts gravel and heart and soul, has me thinking she's a singer who could excel at country or rock or blues, a versatility that would serve her very well on theme-crazy Idol. And as Kara pointed out, Deanna's is a voice you'd remember if you heard it on the radio. Shouldn't that be qualification No. 1 for advancing on this show?

Of the non-Deanna contestants, I was most enamored of Emily Hughes, who cut quite a picture in her vintage red and white polka-dot dress, heavy tattoos, and pink and blond hair. Oh, and also, ''earrings'' the size of dessert plates embedded into her lobes. (Youth!) I'll give credit where it's due: Emily certainly gets props for high degree of difficulty for choosing ''Barracuda,'' but I felt like her performance merely colored inside the lines of Heart's original. Not only that, but it seemed unwise in the extreme for Emily to share that her entry into the competition would crush her band's planned tour of Europe.

I also enjoyed giggly-without-being-annoying — talk about high degree of difficulty! — Stevie Wright, 16, who displayed a lovely tone on ''At Last,'' but also had enough vocal wobbles to make me worry she'll flame out once she hits the big stage during Hollywood week. Ditto for professional roughneck Michael Sarver, 27, who was strong yet deeply unsubtle on his cover of Boyz II Men on ''Thank You.'' As Simon noted, Michael has ''that likability thing,'' but then again, so did Sundance Head at this early point in the competition.

Two contestants who stand out as unique in the Idol universe, however, are Alex Wagner-Trugman and Scott MacIntyre. The former definitely wins tonight's trophy for Most Mesmerizing Eyebrow Action in an Idol Audition, but damn if his rendition of ''Baby Come to Me'' wasn't as smooth as a slightly melted bowl of Dulce de Leche ice cream. Bonus points for best comeback to Simon that I've heard in years: When Randy compared Alex to Joe Cocker, Simon declared ''I would say more Cocker Spaniel,'' but Alex hit back even harder, declaring ''That would be a good joke if it made any sense.'' Touché, dude, you're goin' to Hollywood!

MacIntyre, meanwhile, who hasn't let the fact that he's legally blind stop him from skiing, ballroom dancing, or getting his sing on for Paula, Kara, Randy, and Simon, managed to be totally inspirational without ever coming off as cloying or saccharine. He's just a guy who describes his sense of vision as akin to looking through a straw, who has the good humor to wear a ''Mind the Gap'' T-shirt, and who's philosophical enough to say things like ''whatever platform the show gives me, I hope I can be an inspiration.'' Honestly, I'm not sure Scott's rendition of ''And So It Goes'' proved he's vocally strong enough to come close to the top 36, but I think it's safe to say he's already succeeded in the inspiration department. Now if he can just get Ryan to stop it with the high-fives.

What did you think of tonight's season premiere? Did you notice that Paula was the meanest judge, telling deep-voiced Elijah Scarlett he could get voice-over work as a movie monster and pushing to try to get a second song out of disastrous Michael Gurr? Was I the only one who's not sure if that was the Grand Canyon, or just a carefully painted backdrop, during Ryan's opening shots?

Update

Hey everyone! I hope you all had a great holiday! Mine was awesome and I'm so excited to be back to start blogging for you. I intend on restarting soon so keep your eyes open. Until then, enjoy the lovely Ben Cohen: